


Plan B

by roqueamadi



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: #winning, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gay Sex, Jaime & Brienne friendship, M/M, did I mention this is crack, marriage law, three sex scenes in 5000 words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 23:25:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13891353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roqueamadi/pseuds/roqueamadi
Summary: Post-canon. Queen Daenerys decrees that all surviving single members of the great houses must marry and produce heirs within the year, to promote the stability of the realm. Jaime and Brienne are less than impressed.





	Plan B

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【授翻】备选计划](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17621105) by [wincest_girls_do_not_give_up](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wincest_girls_do_not_give_up/pseuds/wincest_girls_do_not_give_up)



> Thanks [sarcasm_for_free](http://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcasm_for_free/pseuds/sarcasm_for_free) for the beta :)

“What are we going to do?” Jaime moaned, trailing after Brienne into her room. Brienne tugged her armour off with uncharacteristic fervour, throwing it on the floor. Jaime winced as he poured a goblet of wine.

“I can’t believe she would— after everything she’s said and done about women being equal to men, and— and everyone choosing their own destiny and— I can’t get this off!” She ripped the buckle at her shoulder and Jaime jumped as the plate crashed to the ground.

Half the armour off, Brienne slumped at the table opposite Jaime and pulled the pitcher towards her. 

“So. Queen Daenerys’ decree means both of us have to marry, and soon.”

“Not just marry,” Jaime muttered. “We have to produce heirs, as well.”

“Within the year!” Brienne exclaimed. “As though that’s how these things work.”

She downed the goblet in one and reached for more. “Lucky we’re at Winterfell to hear this announcement first hand. If we were elsewhere we’d lose out by  _ days _ on the rush to secure a partner. All the good ones would be gone.”

Jaime snorted. “And who are the ‘good ones’?”

_ “You, _ surely. You’ll have women crawling all over you. They’re probably waiting outside the door right now, ready to leap on you as soon as you emerge.”

Jaime, to her surprise, looked uncomfortable. “Brienne…”

“What? I’m sure you’ll enjoy it immensely,” she said glumly.

“No. I won’t.”

“Why not?”

Jaime had already downed two goblets, or he wouldn’t be on the verge of saying it. But everything was lost now anyway, so what did it matter? “Brienne, you’re my closest friend, so I know you won’t tell anyone this…”

_ “Bronn’s _ your closest friend,” Brienne corrected, interrupting.

Jaime stilled. “No.”

“He is.”

“He’s not. Not just a  _ friend,  _ I mean. That’s what I’m trying to say.”

And Brienne’s eyes widened as she finally got it. “Oh.”

Jaime nodded in confirmation, and she nodded back slowly. “That  _ does  _ explain a few things,” she said.

“It does?”

“I did wonder why he always sleeps in your room.”

“How do you know that?” Jaime exclaimed. 

Brienne rolled her eyes. “Well, I get up  _ before _ noon, unlike some people. But really, Jaime, why have you never told me this? How long has this been going on?”

Jaime shrugged. “I’ve never told anyone. Years.”

_ “Years?” _ Brienne exclaimed. “I thought we were friends.”

“It’s not just any little secret,” he said with a shrug.

“Well, you should have told me earlier, because there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you. Almost exactly the same thing.”

“...You’re in love with Bronn too?”

Brienne rolled her eyes.  _ “No. _ It’s Sansa.”

_ “Sansa?”  _ Jaime exclaimed, screwing his face up. Then he thought it over. “Actually, now that you say it, I can see that.”

Brienne nodded, with a small smile. “Almost two years. Not that it matters, now.”

“There must be something we can do,” Jaime said in a small voice as Brienne downed another goblet. “Because I can’t— I can’t— I mean, without him, I just—”

Brienne slammed the goblet back down on the table, making Jaime jump, and she suddenly had a glimmer in her eye.

“I have a plan.”

“What?” Jaime asked hesitantly.

“We should marry.”

_ “How  _ will that help?”

She held up a finger. “Hear me out. We should marry. And Sansa and Bronn should marry. And we should all live in one place. The Queen will be happy, she’ll get her ‘stability’. And  _ we _ can be with who we want.”

Jaime sat back in his chair, staring at her. “But Brienne, the law isn’t just marriage. We’d have to also produce an heir…”

Simultaneously, both of them made disgusted faces at each other.

Brienne waved a hand. “Although I can guarantee the thought is as unpleasant for me as I think it is for you, we can probably… figure it out? Besides, what’s the alternative? Someone we don’t even like as a friend?”

Jaime shrugged. “I don’t know about you but my…  _ equipment… _ it doesn’t just work on command, you know.”

“Mine doesn’t  _ either.” _

Jaime crinkled his nose. “That can be assisted though. You know, spit, oil… I can’t do anything about mine if it doesn’t get up.”

“Well… we’ll get Bronn to help then,” Brienne said, off the top of her head. “Maybe you can get started with him, then finish with me. That should work, right?”

Jaime looked unconvinced. “And you’ll do the same for Sansa and Bronn?”

Brienne grit her teeth. “Sansa will be the hard one to convince.”

“Oh, you think Bronn will be happy to just go along with this, no problem?” Jaime said, suddenly offended.

_ “No,  _ I’m not saying that, it’s just that Bronn doesn’t mind women in general— _ before _ you, I mean. Sansa, on the other hand… Sansa has been through… well, she’s been through hell, Jaime, and she swore she’d never let another man anywhere near her. But I think I can convince her. This way would be far better than her marrying some lord she doesn’t even know.” She paused. “Is Bronn…”

“What?”

“Can he be… you know… gentle?”

“Why do you assume he’s not gentle with me?” Jaime exclaimed, his voice going rather high.

Brienne just rolled her eyes at him. 

_ “What?” _

“Now that you’ve told me, it’s  _ so _ obvious. I always wondered why you looked practically ready to shoot your load every time he knocks you on your arse in the training ring.”

Jaime’s face turned almost instantly beet red and he suddenly became very interested in something on the floor. “That’s not true,” he said in a small voice.

“But can he, though?”

“Yes, of course! He’s very gentle. He can do both. He’s considerate and he takes his time and… his  _ tongue  _ can just—”

“Alright, alright, I don’t need details!” Brienne exclaimed, throwing her palm up, looking almost ready to vomit. “So are we doing this? We’ll have to move fast if we’re going to make it look authentic. We’ll need to talk to them tonight.”

Jaime nodded. “I’ll talk to Bronn.”

 

“Are you fuckin’ joking?”

Jaime shrugged, watching Bronn take off his outer jerkin and swordbelt, while he lay on the bed. Bronn usually waited until late in the night, eleven or midnight, before sneaking down the hall to Jaime’s room. They never slept apart, these days. 

“What, are you saying you prefer the alternative? We both go off and  _ genuinely  _ marry some highborn girls?”

Bronn sighed. “No, love. While you spent your evening getting plastered with your rich friends, I was in my room packing. I figure it’s time for plan B.”

“What’s plan B?”

“You, me, and a boat to Essos.”

Jaime smiled at him, still feeling slightly buzzed from all the wine he drank earlier. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“What about that lordship you spent your whole life chasing? And your castle?”

Bronn shrugged, looking conflicted. “And I suppose you’re not too keen to leave Tyrion behind, everyone you know, not to mention your income.” He shook his head. “I dunno. I guess we can give it a try. The plan makes sense. If it doesn’t work, well… Then it’s plan B.”

Jaime smiled at his sincerity. “Brienne wants to know something.”

“What’s that?”

“If you can be gentle.”

“Gentle?” Bronn repeated. “You know I can.”

Jaime stretched his arms above his head in a somewhat rehearsed move.  _ “Can _ you? I’m not sure. Maybe you should practise, just to check.”

Bronn hummed as he kneeled on the bed, moving forward between Jaime’s legs. “You want me to be gentle with you, princess?”

He dropped to his hands, on either side of Jaime’s shoulders, and kissed him before he could reply. He ran a hand down Jaime’s side, pushing his tunic up and brushing his fingers over his stomach, tickling slightly. “We  _ have _ done it this way before,” Bronn said, drawing back long enough for the words and then pressing forward again. Jaime’s mouth opened for his tongue and he squirmed beneath him as Bronn ran his thumb along Jaime’s waistline, and over his hip.

“The thing is, you usually get bored with this, love,” Bronn said, moving his lips down Jaime’s neck.

Jaime gasped. “No, but… I just want to see…” He made a cut-off noise as Bronn cupped him through his pants and started to move down his body, pushing his tunic up higher so he could close his mouth over his nipple, his hands working at the lacings of Jaime’s breeches.

“Like this?” Bronn asked, getting his hand into Jaime’s pants and palming his cock lightly, barely gripping it.

“Yes…” Jaime breathed. Bronn smirked knowingly and moved down further.

“Do you think you can do it with a girl?” Jaime asked, hitching his hips up as Bronn tugged on his breeches, sliding them down. He closed his mouth over the tip of Jaime’s cock before replying, and Jaime let out a long sigh, letting his head flop back on the pillow.

Bronn pulled off and rested his chin on Jaime’s thigh for a moment, his thumb rubbing small circles around the moist slit of his cock.

“I don’t  _ want  _ to,” Bronn said thoughtfully. “I’m not sure. I guess I can close my eyes and think of your tight little hole.” He approved of the way Jaime blushed at this. “What about you? You don’t fuck my arse.” Jaime made a face at that. “Exactly. Will you be able to stick it in somewhere?”

“I  _ do _ stick it in  _ somewhere,” _ Jaime said suggestively, twitching his hips upwards again. Bronn took the hint and closed his mouth over his cock again, sucking hard and then pulling off again to speak. Jaime groaned in frustration, and Bronn ignored him. 

“But it’s not the same.”

“An arsehole isn’t the same as a cunt, either.”

“True.”

“Brienne suggested we—  _ ah— _ ” Jaime squeezed his eyes closed and tried to hold on to the trail of his thought as Bronn took him in his mouth again, his hand running around underneath to press a finger at Jaime’s hole. “Brienne suggested we help each other out. We could get started, like—like this—and then I could try to finish in her.”

“You think that’ll work?” Bronn asked doubtfully, pausing again and letting his left hand take over, pumping Jaime slowly. 

“It will have to. The law says children must be produced, otherwise the marriage is voided.”

“Hmm.”

Bronn reached for the jar of oil on the nightstand, quickly dropping his own pants and returning to kneel between Jaime’s legs. He grabbed the back of his knees and hitched him closer, sitting them over his shoulders, and Jaime gave a breathless laugh as he was tugged down the bed.

_ “That _ wasn’t gentle,” he said with a grin as Bronn put the jar back. 

“Enough gentle. I know what you need, princess.” And then he shoved two slick fingers at once inside Jaime. Jaime groaned loudly enough that Bronn slapped him on the side of his arse to be quiet, but that didn’t help either. Jaime put his forearm over his mouth and bit down on his sleeve as Bronn replaced his fingers with his cock, sliding easily in, warm and familiar and sending jolts of pleasure up Jaime’s spine as he started to move.

He leaned forward, between Jaime’s legs. Jaime let them fall open, completely relaxed, and ran his left hand through Bronn’s hair as he came within reach, mussing it up. Bronn leaned forward and kissed him, picking up the pace.

“I love you, Jaime,” he said in a low, rough voice that made Jaime’s balls tighten. “No matter what happens. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Jaime breathed, and captured Bronn’s lips again. Bronn’s hand threaded through his hair and Jaime held tight to Bronn’s shoulder as they moved together, but it didn’t take him long. He came without even being touched, just off the slide of Bronn’s cock against the spot inside him, and Bronn leaned back and held him down as he finished, slamming roughly up against Jaime and groaning as he finished.

“I’d marry you if I could,” Bronn said hoarsely into Jaime’s shoulder as he collapsed on him. Jaime chuckled.

“I’m serious.”

“Bronn…” Jaime sighed, running his fingers up under the other man’s tunic, down the smooth skin of his back. “It will be fine. This plan will work. We’ll be together.”

“I fuckin’ hope so.”

 

“Jaime, that’s just too much.”

Brienne glared at Jaime through the doorway. He stepped back to let her inside.

“What?” he asked innocently.

Brienne waved at him as she stepped though. “Can’t you put a tunic on? I do not need to see your skinny little hips.”

“That’s no way to talk to the man you’re supposedly falling in love with,” he grinned, but pulled a tunic on just the same.

“Bronn, same to you,” Brienne ordered.

Bronn was still lying in bed, the sheet precariously low around his hips. “I’d get up to get one, but that might defeat the purpose,” he said with a grin until Brienne scooped someone’s pants and tunic off the floor and threw them at him.

Sansa followed her in nervously, closing and locking the door behind her.

“Lady Stark,” Jaime nodded at her politely and glanced at Bronn who reluctantly pulled the pants on under the sheet and then got to his feet.

“Sansa, this is Bronn,” Brienne said hesitantly.

Sansa just stared at him as he tugged his tunic on. She didn’t say anything. Bronn wasn’t about to assist. Jaime and Brienne glanced at each other.

“Okay, so that’s that,” Brienne said, covering the awkward silence. The four of them moved to sit around the table by the window, morning sunlight streaming through.

“So,” Brienne said, leaning forward on her elbows. “Sansa and I discussed it last night and we agree it’s a good idea.”

“Not  _ good,” _ Sansa put in darkly. “It’s not what any of us want, but it’s the closest we’re going to get to that under these laws.”

“Agreed,” Jaime said grimly.

“Now,” Brienne continued, “Jaime and I have known each other for a long time, so that won’t be a surprise for anyone. The thing we need to set up carefully is you two.” She looked cautiously between Sansa and Bronn. “Bronn falling in love with a pretty girl from a high family won’t be hard for anyone to believe,” Brienne said thoughtfully. Jaime pouted, but she ignored him. “But Sansa accepting Bronn’s attentions, that’s the thing we need to sell. We don’t want anyone to suspect that either union isn’t completely genuine, or it will draw attention and make it even more difficult for us to achieve our goal. Any ideas?”

Bronn sat with his arms crossed over his chest and Sansa fixed her gaze on the table. 

“Perhaps Bronn could rescue you, somehow,” Brienne suggested. “You could fall off your horse while riding alone, and he could find you and carry you back. Something like that.”

“Perhaps,” Sansa muttered.

“Or maybe a shared interest,” Jaime suggested. “Like horse riding, or perhaps… hawks? You keep hawks here at Winterfell, correct? We could put it around that Bronn is an expert falconer and you want to learn from him.”

_ “Are _ you an expert falconer?” Brienne asked, raising an eyebrow.

“A what?”

“I don’t think that will work.”

“Dancing?” Brienne put in. “Perhaps Bronn could dazzle Sansa at the upcoming ball.” 

Sansa lifted an extremely sarcastic eyebrow.

_ “Can  _ you dance?” Jaime asked Bronn, with humour in his voice.

“Course I can,” Bronn shot back. Probably not the kind these fancy cunts expected, but they could figure that out themselves.

“Alright,” Brienne said. “We can do the horse riding rescue this week and the ball can top it off, and you can announce your engagement a few days after that.”

 

The next day, Jaime rode out with Bronn and they waited amongst the trees with the agreed meeting location in view. 

Well, kind of in view. Bronn doubted Jaime could see it, since he was bent over a fallen log and taking advantage of the isolation of the area to be as loud as he liked as Bronn took his sweet time, alternately slamming hard into him and then slowing, drawing it out. 

His hand was tight around Jaime’s cock, pumping him slowly and squeezing hard at the base every time he felt Jaime come close to the edge. Finally, it was getting too much for him, and he was moaning loudly and squirming around. Bronn smacked him on the arse cheek, ostensibly to get him to still, but it wasn’t anything that could be called hard, and he only did it because Jaime liked it.

“Bronn, I can't, I'm going to—”

He groaned loudly as he came, shooting over the dry leaves beneath their feet, and Bronn followed seconds after, deep up inside Jaime. 

His balls were still pressed tightly against Jaime's arse when Sansa appeared through the trees, out on the hill. She drew to a halt and gingerly dismounted, then shooed her horse away. The horse ran off and Sansa sat sulkily on the grass, waiting. 

Bronn pulled out of Jaime with a groan and quickly did himself up. Jaime remained collapsed against the log, trying to catch his breath, until Bronn slid a finger into the back of his collar and pulled him upright. 

“Guess I’ve gotta go woo a maiden,” Bronn said with distaste, and kissed Jaime before turning to go. To his surprise, Jaime caught his wrist. Bronn turned back.

“What is it, love?”

Jaime looked more confused than him. His pants were still tangled around his ankles, his lips still slightly puffy from all the kissing they’d done earlier, but he looked… anxious.

“Bronn…” he said, a little throatily. “Don’t go.”

Bronn immediately took a step back to him, bringing his hands up to cup Jaime’s face, catching the hint of telltale moisture on his eyelids and suddenly realised Jaime was feeling a lot more than he was letting on. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I just… Just don’t go.”

Bronn kissed him lightly then drew back to study his face. “You were the one who set this up, remember, princess? You changed your mind, is that it?”

“Maybe.”

With a patient sigh, Bronn knelt to fix Jaime’s pants, pulling them back over his hips and lacing him up. “You gotta tell me what’s going on in that head, princess, m’not a fuckin’ mind reader. Just tell me.”

“I know I said it was a good plan but now… Now you’re going over to— to her— I don’t think I can…”

He blinked and tears spilled over. Bronn stood again and maneuvered him over to the log, sitting them both down and wrapping an arm around him. “If you want to call it off, you just have to say the word. Plan B, remember?”

Jaime took a deep breath. “No. No, it’s a good plan. You go, I’ll be fine.”

“You’re not fuckin’ fine,” Bronn muttered. “But I’ll go. You do know I don’t want to, right?”

“I know.”

 

Bronn untied his horse and stomped reluctantly out of the trees and over to Sansa, who was still sitting sulkily on the ground, only noticing him when he was a few meters away and then jumping in shock. Bronn rolled his eyes. Even Jaime wasn't  _ that _ bad. 

“Alright, girl?”

Sansa scowled at him. “I slammed my foot in the door,” she said rather coldly, twitching her skirt up so he could see her ankle was turning black and blue. “Does it look like a sprain?”

“Close enough,” Bronn shrugged. He held his hand out and Sansa took it reluctantly, climbing up onto the horse. Bronn hoisted himself up after her and sat behind the saddle, not touching her. Sansa looked over her shoulder critically. 

“I'll shift closer when we get within sight of the castle. No point making anyone uncomfortable before then.”

They rode in silence for several minutes before Sansa said rather coldly, “What will we say we talked about on the ride?”

“Dunno. What do you think?”

“Perhaps we could have talked about how we both love the sunlight after the experience of living through the long night.”

“Aye.”

“And horses. I like warmbloods. You?”

“Rode a Dornish stallion once, I liked that.” Not to mention the  _ other _ things he rode on that trip. “Otherwise I don't care what they look like, I just want one that'll do what it's told and not eat too much.”

“Is that how you like your… partners, as well?” Sansa asked with fake innocence.

Bronn grimaced. “You think Jaime ever does what he's told?”

Sansa just shrugged. 

Bronn sighed. “Listen, girl, it doesn’t matter how I treat my ‘partners’, because that’s not what we’re going to be. We’re doing this so we can be with our  _ actual _ partners. You and I just have to stand side by side looking pretty on occasion.”

“That’s not all we have to do.”

“We’ll figure that out somehow,” Bronn said, gritting his teeth. If Jaime almost had a breakdown just at the thought of Bronn  _ spending time  _ with Sansa, he didn’t know how it was even remotely possible he would be okay with Bronn fucking her. 

They rode in silence for a while. After a minute, Sansa shifted uncomfortably, and, looking straight ahead, said, “So, when you and Jaime, you know… How do you…?”

“Fuck?” Bronn clarified.

Sansa nodded, and he could see a slight blush on the backs of her ears. He smirked. “Well, I bugger his arse, if you must know.”

Sansa turned back to see his face, looking skeptical. “And does he… like that?”

“Aye, he fucking loves it,” Bronn grinned.

Sansa still looked unconvinced. “Doesn't it hurt him?”

“Hurt him? No, of course not, I make sure of that.”

“Huh.” Sansa muttered.

Bronn was a little unnerved, somehow, by this rather cold, distant girl, and he didn’t think he really wanted to know all the things she’d been through in her short life.

“We’re close now,” she said as they came towards the next rise. Winterfell was over the hill.

“Shift forward,” Bronn said, and slid into the saddle behind her. She squirmed a little, her arse against his cock, but it did nothing for him, not after the extended session he’d just had in the forest with Jaime.

 

The ball was the following week, and Bronn was still prepared to follow through with the plan and dance with the Stark girl, but they arrived and Jaime went off with Brienne for the first dance and Sansa was nowhere to be seen. Bronn waited by the wall, trying to figure out where the food was coming from, but then, after only one dance, Jaime was back, pushing through the crowds towards Bronn, with wide terrified eyes. When he got close enough he grabbed the fabric of Bronn's tunic in front of his stomach in a tight fist.

“Outside,” Jaime said through his teeth, tugging on Bronn’s clothes, and Bronn followed without comment.

Jaime looked like he wasn't breathing. They had to maneuver their way through the crowd to get towards the exit and Bronn could feel him practically vibrating next to him in his urgency to get outside, but they had to wait, there were too many people still arriving. They moved to the side and Bronn put his hand subtly on the back of Jaime's neck, hoping to calm him.

“Breathe, Jaime,” he said in his ear.

Finally, the people moved through. They hurried past, going out the doors, down the corridor and straight out into the dark yard.

Jaime took a huge breath of air and groaned it out, running his hand through his hair and turning in a circle.

“Woah, calm down, princess. What happened?”

Jaime glanced around apprehensively at the yard and the walkway above them. It wasn't the safest place to talk, true. Bronn followed him as he turned and stomped across the yard to the stables.

Once they were a safe way inside with no one around to hear them, Jaime turned back to Bronn with clenched fists.

“I just— I just don't like it, Bronn!”

“Like what?”

“Girls! I don't like all their lumpy wobbly bits!”

Bronn snorted in laughter but quickly recovered. Jaime was being deadly serious.

“It's just not… not who I am, not anymore. I know I was with…” he lowered his voice, even though they were alone, “Cersei, back then, but that wasn’t… that was a different thing—”

“I know, I understand, you don’t need to explain to me,” Bronn soothed.

Jaime wasn’t done. “I don’t want to touch  _ anyone  _ else. The only person I touch is you. I don't  _ want _ anyone else.”

“I know, princess,” Bronn sighed, stepping closer and drawing Jaime's head down onto his shoulder. He wrapped one arm around him, the other cupping his neck. They stood like that for a long time, Jaime’s breathing gradually calming down as his anxiety faded in Bronn’s arms. Bronn knew he was feeling better when he shifted around slightly, and then his hand slid up under Bronn’s tunic, running over his ribs and stomach.

“I like it how you're hard here,” Jaime murmured, brushing over Bronn's stomach and then up his chest.

“It ain't the only place I'm hard,” Bronn grinned.

Jaime immediately glanced around the stables and then started stepping backwards, through the swinging gate into the empty stall behind them. Bronn went where he was led, still grinning at the sudden heat that had lit up Jaime’s eyes, his serious expression, the way he sat himself down in the straw and drew Bronn down on top of him.

Bronn knelt between Jaime’s thighs and kissed him, easing him down onto his back and grinding against him.

“Hard,” Jaime breathed in his ear when Bronn moved from his mouth down his throat. It was an instruction. 

“I know,” Bronn growled. He knew what Jaime needed.

He had them both naked in about ten seconds.

Jaime no longer acted surprised that Bronn generally carried a small vial of oil in his pocket wherever he went. He had started to make a habit of it shortly after they started seeing each other, when he realised how demanding Jaime could be when he decided he wanted sex  _ right now.  _ The habit paid dividends; this was one of those times. 

He had Jaime over on his hands and knees with little effort. He didn’t bother stretching him; they’d fucked enough times in the past few days, and he wanted it hard, after all. He oiled his own cock and pressed it straight up against him, spreading him and pushing in. Jaime groaned loudly and Bronn didn’t even care if someone heard him.  _ Let _ them come and see, if they wanted. Maybe they’d understand how impossible it was to expect Jaime to do this with anyone else, when he was practically  _ designed  _ for this.  _ This,  _ with Bronn slamming into him, pulling him up onto his knees, holding him tightly against his body while embedded deep inside him.

He bit down hard on Jaime’s shoulder as he came, leaving a mark that would show for a week. Bronn wished he could mark him permanently, so that everyone knew who he belonged to, no matter what happened. Let whatever girl he ended up with  _ know  _ it, that she was handling stolen goods.

Bronn’s cock was surrounded by his own seed but he didn’t pull out. He lowered his hand to Jaime’s cock and jerked him roughly, while still buried deep in him, Jaime’s head flopped back against his shoulder, Bronn’s teeth marks bright red just behind his collarbone. 

 

Bronn didn’t dazzle Sansa with his dancing. He was far too busy all night (doing a different kind of dancing) to even set foot in the hall again. In the end, it didn’t matter. Everyone was getting engaged—they  _ had to,  _ after all, so no one was questioning anyone’s decision. They knew each other, at least. That was more than some could say. 

A week later was a large batch of weddings, all on one day, twenty couples going one after another up to the altar to get it over and done with. They signed up; they agreed to go through with it. And they almost made it to the waiting area of couples lining up at the back of the hall, getting ready to march down together, one after another, a slow queue. 

Almost. 

They got their house colours on, found a cloak each, made themselves presentable. Then Jaime just stopped walking, halfway down the stairs from the third level, and he couldn’t get his feet to move anymore.

Bronn paused a few steps further down and looked back up at him. He didn’t say anything, but Jaime saw a few expressions pass over his face, and he got that soft look in his eyes when he knew immediately exactly what Jaime was thinking. That was one of the things Jaime loved so much about him; Jaime was rarely able to express his own feelings, but he didn’t need to, because Bronn usually understood them even before he did.

“Are we doing this?”

“Bronn… I just… I don't think I can.”

Bronn came back up to the step just below Jaime’s and grabbed his shoulders. “We don't have to, princess. Just say the word and we're out of here. My bag’s already packed.”

“...It is?”

Bronn nodded, moving his hands up to cup Jaime’s face, smoothing his thumbs across Jaime’s cheeks.

“What about… what about your title?” Jaime said, his breath hitching. “And… Casterly Rock… you always wanted to see it and… and you wanted to live in a castle and—”

“I don't care,” Bronn cut him off. “I don't care about that stuff.”

Jaime’s face crumpled and Bronn stepped up onto the next step, level with him, to pull him into his arms properly. Jaime wrapped his arms around Bronn’s neck and buried his face in his shoulder, clinging to him tightly.

Bronn drew back after a minute and tried to see Jaime’s face. 

“Wanna get out of here?”

Jaime nodded into his tunic.

“Then let's go.”

 

Bronn’s bag  _ was  _ already packed. Jaime’s was packed too, Bronn had done it for him and Jaime hadn’t even noticed, but all they needed to do was go back upstairs, change for travelling, grab their bags, and sneak back down to the stables. Everyone was occupied with the mass wedding, so the rest of the place was deserted. No one would even notice them leaving.

However, when they got to the entrance of the stables, Bronn froze, throwing an arm across Jaime’s chest to hold him back in the shadows around the corner while he peered around to see who it was. And then he snorted.

Sansa and Brienne were fastening saddlebags to their horses and dressed for travel.

“Standing us up at the altar, are you?” Bronn laughed, stepping out into view.

Brienne’s hand flew to her sword hilt, and then when she realised it was just them, she smiled.

“Er, yes. Sorry to leave you both heartbroken.”

“Very heartbroken,” Bronn nodded, taking Jaime’s hand and leading him forward. “Where are you off to, then?”

“White Harbour, to start with,” Brienne said. “Want to come with us?”

Bronn glanced at Jaime, who shrugged. “May as well,” he said.

Bronn nodded, grinning. “I like this plan a lot more.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I tried to write a comedy and then it got kinda serious at one point there but hopefully ended lighthearted enough. I don't even know what this is... but I can totally see Dany going for something insane like this :| lol


End file.
